


Like Clockwork

by nephilimswitchlight



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post 3a, Will in Modern Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 02:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nephilimswitchlight/pseuds/nephilimswitchlight
Summary: Jem would be forever grateful to Jace Herondale. In attempting to heal the other Shadowhunter, he himself was miraculously cured. Now he had the chance of a life, a real life, free of the drugs dependence. It seemed though that his healing wasn't the only miracle that was given to him, as suddenly Jace had done the impossible. He had brought his Will back to him.-Or, Jem's Heavenly Fire healing arc we will likely never get to see in the show with a fun, completely improbable but entirely happy reunion for Herongraystairs-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will definitely be an AU after 3A, not just because it wont follow 3B at all but because a few things changed. Clary didn't disappear, Magnus had to give Asmodeous a different price and a few other things that may come up.   
> I love these three so much and want them to have the super happy ending they deserve, so I had to write my own. There wont be a lot that comes from the novels, as I want it to connect to the show where its at now.   
> Few things will be different though, Yin Fen is a demon drug instead of vampire venom for one. Since they haven't really touched on Izzy's addiction being connected to vampires, since her and Rafael stopped their thing I don't think it will make too much of an impact, though it being vampire venom does impact Jem so I'll just keep it as it was originally.   
> Not sure what else will change, but i will make sure to let you all know before each chapter if there is anything. Hope you enjoy!

Jace knew this was a really bad idea. He also knew he would end up regretting it, in hindsight of course. At this moment he knew it was his best option. He had to fix whatever was going wrong with him. Fix it before Alec really began to catch on. He had put his _parabatai_ through far too much already, he couldn’t do it anymore then he already was.  

                He took yet another calming breath before knocking firmly on the door once. Silence answered for a moment before the door swung inward with a loud creak.

                "Yeah not ominous at all." He muttered to himself as he stepped through the doorway.

                "My name is Jace Herondale." He called through the silent house. "I sent you a fire message earlier? You said to come?"

                "Yes. I did." A whispery voice replied before a man walked into view. He was quite short with dark skin and hair. His eyes were equally dark, yet so sharp and full of knowledge it was easy for the blonde to consider them intimidating. Though the most intimidating part of him were the leather like wings curled onto his back. "Tell me Shadowhunter, were there any exaggerations in the message that was sent?"

                He frowned and shook his head. "No. Everything, I said was the truth."

                A delighted grin spread onto the warlock's face, his eyes crinkling in almost manic glee. It took all Jace had not to reach for a seraph in defense just from the look.

                "Excellent. Come with me."

                Jace nodded and followed after him, his eyes taking in his surroundings with mild interest. He knew that most everything here had to be worth quite a lot, both monetarily and historically, but at the moment all he cared about was getting fixed.

                "You can actually fix me, right?"

                A scoff was the only response causing him to frown. "Okay then?"

                "Would you really be here if you didn’t think I could?" The man asked with a condescending raise of his eyebrow.

                "Well, no." He admitted. "But I'm a little skeptical of what you're planning on doing?"

                He just earned a near sinister grin. "I can assure you Shadowhunter, it will work. However, pain will be expected."

                Jace rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Not something I'm not used to."

                The warlock chuckled and shook his head. "So, you think."

                "Yeah that’s comforting."

                "I'm not here to be comforting." He stopped walking and turned to Jace with a frown. “If you wanted comforting, you should have gone somewhere else.”

                “Understood.” He replied quickly. “What will this entail?”

                “Tell me of the demon that possessed you.” He asked abruptly, as if Jace hadn’t spoken at all.

                Jace frowned and looked at his feet, awkwardly shuffling them in an attempt to control his urge to run away. “Lilith. I’m sure you know of her.”

                “I have. What happened to you, specifically.”

                “She turned me into an owl faced, poison spewing demonic monster!” he snapped harshly, looking up finally to glare at him. “Forced me to mind wash over thirty mundanes, cut out my love for the woman of my dreams, and had me almost murder my own _parabatai_! Now, I keep having nightmares. Keep experiencing unbelievable pain and disorientation like there’s literally a fire burning through me. Happy?”

                He leered, expression sharp and dangerous. “Very. The worse it was, the more valid my solution will be. How did you become no longer possessed?”

“A concentrated amount of magic borrowed from a Prince of Hell.” He responded curtly, not at all liking this warlock and his lack of a bedside manner.

The man’s grin grew even more impossibly wide at the response. “Tell me, have you looked for any other solutions to fix this problem of yours?”

                Jace kept his features in an angry glare as he nodded at the man. His thoughts moved to the day he had gone to the Silent Brother’s and the unusual events that followed.

* * *

 

                  _“Brother Zachariah will attend to you.”_ The Silent Brother that had led him through the catacombs told him, eerie features turned to face him. _“He will be in momentarily_.”

He was left alone then in the chilly room and after a few moments sat heavily on the bed, beyond grateful that there was at least a bed to sit on. He didn’t have to wait long though, the heavy door opening as another Brother entered, this one causing Jace to raise a surprised brow.

                “You look different.” He observed as he took in the man’s dark hair threaded through with silver, warm arched eyes and fully functional lips. “Are you sure you’re actually a Brother.”

                The man nodded his head, voice coming just as telepathically as his more frightening brethren. _“I assure you Jace Herondale, despite my different appearance I am as much a Silent Brother as the others, with the same healing capabilities.”_

                “So, you can fix me?” he asked hoping off the bed to approach him. As he got closer he saw the same silver faintly in the dark eyes. How was this guy such an oddity?

                _“I will try my best. The possession, how long did it last?_ ”

                Jace shuddered and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Weeks. The first few just while I was asleep, and after that she locked me in my mind. I saw everything my body was made to do.”

                _“I understand this will be hard. We can go at whatever pace is best for you.”_

                “I’m okay!” he assured him quickly. “Really. Just ask.”

                He gave a shallow nod of his head. _“Of course. How was the possession broken?”_

                “Magnus Bane hit me with an incredibly strong, concentrated burst of magic borrowed from Asmodeus.” He informed him. “It was like it was burning me from the inside out as it purged the demon from my body. I had never felt something like it before.”

                _“And now?”_

                “Now I feel it almost constantly. Here.” He lifted a hand to press a finger to his sternum. “I’m constantly on fire. I can’t sleep. Sometimes I can’t even breathe.”

                _“Lay down. It sounds as if some of the magic may be trapped within you. I may be able to extract it. Have you seen a warlock in attempt to heal you?”_

                “No. Only warlock I would go to is Magnus Bane but he’s my _parabatai’s_ boyfriend, and I don’t want Alec to find out.”

                _“Keeping pain from your parabatai is not only hard, but dangerous.”_ Brother Zachariah said as he guided Jace to the bed. _“Are you sure that is wise?_ ”

                Jace shrugged as he laid down. “I don’t really care if it is or not. I’ve hurt Alec enough with this, I can’t do it again.”

                _“And what if you are hurting him by saying nothing?_ ” The Silent Brother’s tone almost sounded reproachful, and Jace glared at him.

                “What would you know about that?”

                _“Trust me, I would have been considered the expert in keeping things from your_ parabatai. _”_ He refuted, turning his head enough that Jace could see the faded-out lines of a _parabatai_ rune. _“And you may think that you’re protecting him, but if he loves you as he should, keeping something like this from him could hurt the both of you in the long run.”_

                Jace stared at him in shock. “You were a normal Shadowhunter? Is that why you look so normal?”

                _“A story for another time perhaps. For now, I would like to see what I can do for the predicament that you are in.”_

                “Yeah, sounds like a plan. Fix it, and I won’t have to tell Alec anything, since there wont be anything to tell.”

                Brother Zachariah seemed to sigh, before placing his hand on Jace’s forehead. Jace’s eyes fluttered closed at the touch, so he didn’t see exactly what happened. One moment the Silent Brother was murmuring words and he could feel heat pooling in his chest, and then the next a blinding flash of light so bright he could see it behind his eyelids flooded the room.

                He instinctively cringed away from it, but when a pained cry that wasn’t his own filled the room, he bolted upright. His eyes flew open to lock onto Brother Zachariah.

                The light was fading from his hands, which were shaking violently. His hood had fallen to expose his dark colored hair, which was suddenly entirely inky black. Jace couldn’t see his face due to his head being bent downward, eyes likely locked on his own hands.

                “What the hell was that?” Jace asked, voice shaky. He could still feel the burning, the constant pain an obnoxious throb, so whatever had happened, it hadn’t healed him.

                Brother Zachariah looked up at him, incredibly dark brown eyes blinking rapidly for a moment. He frowned, a look of pure confusion crossing his features. After a few seconds, his lips opened and in a cracked, scratchy voice spoke out loud. “I have absolutely no idea.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jem's experience leaving the Brotherhood is a little more emotionally charged then I remember it being in the books, and I hope it comes off okay. I just imagine suddenly being free from a dependence he has known so long and loosing the brotherhood suddenly would be pretty emotional situations.

White hot searing pain flooded through him, the kind of pain he had not felt in many, many years. He had only barely begun to heal the left-over magic inside of Jace Herondale, when his world exploded in nothing but white. White pain, white light, white noise.

                It didn’t last long though, and as it faded away he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the shaking of his hands that he could not get to stop. What had happened to him? Why did he feel like he could fully breathe on his own? Why was his mind so clear suddenly? Most of all though, what had happened to cause all of this?

                Jace’s voice stated the same question and he looked up to meet his eyes. He made to answer but found that he couldn’t. With a frown he tried to again, and when once more no thought exited his own mind the frown deepened.

                With no other choice, he hesitatingly opened his mouth and used his voice for the first time in more than a hundred years. It came out croaky and dry, but it worked, leaving him in even more confusion.

                “Did you just actually talk?” Jace’s expression was gob smacked as he stared at him, and he nodded.

                “I did. I have no idea what is going on, or what that was.” He looked down at his hands and tried to use any of the number of Silent Brother runic spells that he knew, but nothing would work. “I am as lost as you are Jace.”

                “Did I do something to you?” His voice was worried, borderline scared. “Something bad? Did I hurt you?”

                “I do not feel injured. The opposite in fact. I feel, healthy. Completely healthy.”

                “You sound surprised? And kinda like you need a drink of water.”

                A raspy chuckle escaped his lips then, and he shook his head. “Yes, I suppose both are true.”

                The door opened then and Brother Enoch entered, moving his head between the two of them. _“Brother Zachariah, what is happening? That cry echoed through the Silent City. Is Jace Herondale more afflicted than we knew?”_

                He swallowed, unsure how, or even if he could answer the question. The name Brother Zachariah didn’t seem appropriate as from the moment he gained his senses, he no longer felt like a Silent Brother.

                “That wasn’t me.” Jace answered before he could. “Whatever is wrong with me, it affected Brother Zachariah strangely. He was the one who screamed.”

                _“That came from you? Verbally?”_

                “Yes.” He croaked. “It seems verbally is all that I am capable of now. I have no idea what happened, the magical fire that is still within him must have done something to me.”

                Brother Enoch walked closer, pulling out a stele from his robes as he moved. As soon as he reached the other’s side, he drew a few runes in the air in front of his eyes. As they dissolved away he gave a nod and took a step back.

                _“It appears that whatever is ailing Jace Herondale, has had an opposite effect on you. You seem to be entirely cured.”_

                “Cured?” he whispered, his thoughts flashing to silver powder, dependence and pain. “Of the poison?”

                Brother Enoch nodded his head once. _“Of the poison. Your connection to the Brotherhood was broken as well. I cannot tell you how, or why, either happened but they have.”_

                “What about me? Am I stuck with this, this whatever it is inside of me? If it did that to Brother Zachariah, it could hurt the rest of you as well.” Jace asked, the faint fear in his eyes increasing at the thought.

                “You haven’t-.” He cleared his throat as the words caught. “You haven’t hurt me Jace, as I told you before. I feel the healthiest and most whole I have felt in a very long time.”

                _“Brother Zachariah’s entrance to the Brotherhood was only meant to last until we could find a cure for the poison he was destined to die from. It seems that you, Jace Herondale, have provided that cure for him.”_

                “How fitting it is that a Herondale has saved me again.” He said quietly, a strange niggling that felt almost like a fond sadness filling him. “So, do not despair, nothing you have done is bad.”

                “You were sick? And this magic healed you? If it can heal you, why does it feel like it’s killing me?” his expression turned pained as a hand came up to clench at the shirt over his heart. “Brother, is there anything you can do? Do you have any idea what it is that could be beneficial for him, and deadly to me?”

                Brother Enoch turned towards Jace and then walked to his bed side. He took the few steps to join him, watching as the Brother performed diagnostic runic magic without touching the ailed Shadowhunter.

                _“I cannot verify for certain, but it seems as if you are infected with the remains of a heavenly fire, as well as demonic magic. The magic is stronger, however, and with your tainted blood from such a severe possession it is attacking your body.”_

                “Lovely,” Jace groaned. “Can you do anything?”

                _“I will have to research it more. There is nothing that I can do at this time.”_

                “Can a warlock help?” he asked, glancing to the blonde laid out on the bed. “Is there perhaps a magical healing that could heal him better than any options the Brotherhood has?”

                _“It would not hurt for the two of you to ask.”_

                “Two of us?” Jace asked in confusion. “What do you mean?”

                “I am no longer a Silent Brother.” He whispered in response, shock filling him as he came to the full realization of what had just happened. He really was no longer part of the Brotherhood. His body was no longer dependent on the _yin fen_ to survive. He was a Shadowhunter once more.

_“You are correct. You are once again a Shadowhunter as you were born, Ke Jian Ming. Brother Zachariah is no more. After almost one hundred and forty years, you have finally been cured.”_

                “So, your name is Jian?” Jace asked, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, hands resting on either side of them as he leaned closer. “And, not being a Brother anymore, you have to leave, that’s what I’m gathering, right?”

                He didn’t reply, just blinked. The name was causing emotions to flood him, emotions he didn’t remember how to feel. A beautiful laugh and delighted Mandarin caused a surge of familial love. The faint memory of long pale fingers touching a violin for the first time filled him with glee and excitement. Then despair and desperation cut into the happiness as he remembered cruel taunts and screams, followed by haziness and a pain bordering on numbness.

                He was instantly overwhelmed as he felt the pain of his parent’s deaths once more, fresh and raw as if it was just happening. He heard himself let out a strangled sob and would have collapsed onto the stone floor if strong hands hadn’t caught his elbows.

                “What’s happening to him?” He heard the voice faintly, as if he was listening to it while submerged under water. The mental response he heard clearly though and helped to pull him from his own mind.

                _“Being a Silent Brother has distanced him from his emotions and memories. He has had them there, could see them, but it would have been as if he was just watching someone else’s life. Without the Brotherhood, he is free to once again feel all the human emotions we separate ourselves from. No doubt, they have begun to bombard him as his previous life reinserts itself in his mind.”_

                “Will he be okay?”

                _“If he can fight it. He did not have a fair hand dealt to him. There is a lot of pain for him to sort through, both old and new.”_

                “Hey, can you hear me?”

                He knew the question was meant for him and so gave a faint nod. Everything was glazed over though and he couldn’t clearly see who was speaking. Did he know this person?

                “Hey, okay that’s good. Brother Zachariah. Jian. Whatever your name is.”

                _“James Carstairs.”_

                That second name caused the world to fade away again as more memories invaded his mind. Coming to England. Charlotte. Henry. Jessamine. Will. Oh, Angel, Will! Meeting them all, he and Will’s _parabatai_ ceremony, falling in love with him as they grew closer. Living together, fighting together, growing up together. Then Tessa. Meeting Tessa, falling in love with Tessa, losing both Tessa and Will when he died and became a Brother.

                He was no longer a Brother. The _yin fen_ was gone, finally gone! He could go home to those he loved after so long. By the Angel, how long had it been? What had Brother Enoch said?

                A cold realization came over him. One hundred and forty years. It had been almost one hundred and forty years. Everyone he loved was dead. He didn’t truly have anywhere to go.

                He felt tears escape his eyes and lifted a hand to touch the wetness. The tangible feeling brought him crashing into reality and he felt his knees waver.

                Hands on his upper arms held him still and he looked up to meet a multi colored gaze, worry filling the eyes as they peered at him. He knew those eyes, right?

                He did. Jonathan Christopher Herondale. Jace. Will and Tessa’s descendant. He knew him. He had kept tabs on him since his identity had been revealed. He was here to be healed. Instead, he had healed him.

                “Are you okay?” Jace asked, his head tilted so that their eyes would meet.

                “No.” he responded. “Yes?” He took a shuddering breath. “I’m Jem Carstairs, I’m healed of a poison that has been killing me since I was eleven, but I am alone now. So, I don’t know if I’m okay.”

                “Okay, that I can understand.” Jace replied. “Bet you’re feeling incredibly overwhelmed.”

                Jem nodded. “Beyond overwhelmed. I have no idea what to do?”

                _“You must go somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe. You will have a lot to work through James Carstairs.”_

                He lifted his head up to look at Brother Enoch. “Thank you. For saving me all those years ago. For giving me a chance of a life.”

                _“There is nothing to thank me for. I have been glad to have Brother Zachariah with us for all of these years, and I will be glad to come to the aid of James Carstairs were you to ever need it again.”_

                “And you totally have somewhere to go.” Jace spoke suddenly. “If you don’t want to come to the New York Institute with me, I’m sure Magnus will let you use his guest room. He’s pretty cool like that.”

                “Magnus Bane?” at the other Shadowhunter’s nod a faint smile came to his lips. “Magnus is a friend of mine. He helped my _parabatai_ when he was desperate and needed it the most.”

                “See! You already know him. It’s perfect!” He jumped from the bed and pulled out what Jem vaguely knew was a phone. It was a strange feeling, knowing what something was but having no idea what to do with it or how it would work.

                He watched as Jace touched the screen a couple times before bringing it up to his ear. After a moment he grinned. “Magnus! Wanna do something for me, no questions asked and I’ll return the favor someday?”

                A brief moment of silence and then he was laughing. “No, it does not involve a dead body! I would go to Alec for that! What I need is for you to come to the Silent City with a change of clothes. Preferably something simple like an ordinary pair of jeans and a t shirt. They’re not for me, so please don’t be a dick and bring something crazy.”

                More silence, and then an outraged gasp. “I would never! Please Magnus, come on. Just portal to the entrance and I’ll meet you there?”

                Magnus must have relented because Jace smiled again. “Thank you! Like I said, I’ll owe you one!”

                “You didn’t tell him about me.” Jem observed with a bit of a frown. “Why do you want clothes?”

                “For you.” He pointed at Jem with a wry grin. “Figured you wouldn’t want to keep wearing Silent Brother robes.”

                He glanced down at himself as if to realize that he was in fact still wearing them. He still felt numb to reality, and what he had on his body seemed incredibly insignificant. “Well, I suppose so, yes.”

                _“You can meet Magnus Bane at the entrance._ ” Enoch said. _“My brothers and I will look into your situation Jace Herondale, but I do recommend asking the warlock if there is something he can do as well.”_

Jace nodded. “Thank you, Brother. You will be in touch?”

                _“We will.”_ He nodded and turned his head to Jem. _“If you experience any negative effects from this, please return and we will see what we can do._ ”

                Jem gave a nod as well. “I will. Thank you, Brother Enoch.”

                The man nodded to each of them, and then left the room.

                “Come on, let’s go meet Magnus. He’s likely already at the entrance.”

                He nodded again and fell into step with the blonde. As they walked his companion kept shooting him questioning looks, words obviously on the tip of his tongue. He remained silent though, and the apprehensive tension filled the space quickly.

                “You can ask Jace. I won’t be offended. I may not answer, but you won’t offend me.” He assured him gently.

                “You’ve been a Silent Brother for almost one hundred and forty years? Did you just become one because you were dying? Why were you dying? How did I stop you from dying?”

                Jem gave a small grin at his rapid-fire questions. “I became a Silent Brother in eighteen seventy-eight, when I almost died from _yin fen_. I had become dependent on the drug after a Higher demon tortured me with it when I was a child. As for how you cured me, I suppose it was the heavenly fire? Or the demonic magic? I am not sure exactly.”

                “How are you feeling?”

                That question surprised him, as did the honest worry in his voice. “I am not sure of that either. I believe numb is probably the best option to go with. There is so much brushing on the back of my mind, but at this moment I would rather not deal with any of it. So, I am going to go with in shock and numb.”

                “Fair enough.”

                He didn’t say another word until they reached the entrance to the Silent City, where Magnus truly was waiting. He took in his old friend as he paced in agitation until he caught sight of them, hands going up into the air as he did so.

                “Finally, Jace! What is so urgent you wanted me here right away!” Jem watched as his eyes slid from the blonde onto himself, knowing when they did by the sudden wideness of them. “Brother Zachariah? What is going on?”

                He gave a faint smile. “It’s actually Jem again, Magnus. Turns out all I needed to be cured was another Herondale.”

                Magnus gasped. “Jem! Truly?”

                He nodded. “Jace is experiencing side effects due to his possession by Lilith. When I attempted to heal him, whatever he is infected with cured my body of its dependence of the _yin fen_.”

                He let out a delighted laugh and then was suddenly hugging Jem, startling him at the abrupt embrace. He smiled though and lightly returned the hug. “I am so delighted to hear that!” Magnus exclaimed as he pulled away. “You look healthy my friend!”

                “I am.” He nodded his head. “Overwhelmed though.”

                “Yes, that makes sense. Come on then, let’s get you home and changed.” He turned his gaze to Jace and pointed at him dramatically. “You’re coming too. We have a lot discus.”

                He frowned and gave a reluctant nod. “Alec isn’t home, is he?”

                “Lucky for you, no.” Magnus flicked his wrist, bringing a golden portal to life. “Jem, take my arm and I’ll bring us through to my loft.”

                He did as he was instructed, letting the warlock lead him into his home. Once there he let go and began to survey the area around him. It was definitely a Magnus inspired room, elegant and flashy but not over the top.

                “I like your home.” He told him, turning to face the man he watched as he made some sort of drink. “It suits you.”

                “Thank you, Jem!” he stated happily. “It is one of the better places I have had over the years. Though that has everything to do with the Shadowhunter I share it with, and nothing at all to do with the building.”

                Jem smiled at him. “Yes, Jace said you were in a relationship with his _parabatai._ ”

                “Correction, he’s stolen my _parabatai._ ” Jace refuted as he collapsed onto the couch dramatically.

                “You are merely jealous Alexander likes me more than you.” Magnus teased, stepping away from the cart that held a bar’s worth of alcohol. “Though that may have to do with the secret keeping thing you’re doing?”

                “I’ve put him through enough with all of this.”

                Magnus rolled his eyes and turned to face Jem fully and then he waved his hand towards a door, causing it to swing open. “The guest room is all yours Jem. There’s a change of clothes on the bed, if you want to go get out of that robe while I grill Jace here.”

                “Thank you, Magnus.” He gave him a small smile. “I appreciate all of this.”

                “It’s nothing, and you are more than welcome.”

                He left the two to their argument, shutting the door silently behind him. Removing his robe for the last time felt strange to him and he took a moment to just survey his own body. Jem still felt borderline numb and needed to convince himself this was really happening. He was even tempted to pinch himself, but he knew he could never dream something like this.

                After setting the robe gently onto an armchair in the corner he took the couple steps to the large, luxuriously covered bed and ran his hands over the clothes folded there.

                Magnus had given him materials he would be far more comfortable in than the more modern style. A soft cotton long sleeved shirt and a pair of pants that had an almost familiar cut. He was very thankful, as Shadowhunter gear he could handle but the pants that Jace had on seemed like a bit too much at this moment.

                Once he was fully dressed, soft indoor shoes included, he maneuvered around the bed to where a mirror was hung on the wall. His appearance in the surface shocked him, and an accidental gasp escaped his lips.

                He hadn’t been able to fully remember what he looked like entirely healthy. He had become so used to the complete lack of color that the rich brown that stared back at him was almost hard to get around. He stared into his own eyes for an incredibly long time, trying to connect the brightness he saw within them to the last time he had looked into them. They had come a long way from the dull pain filled silver he had been used to for years. Silver that he had once been certain he would always have to look into.

It wasn’t until he had taken on the mantle of Silent Brother did he have any hope of that changing. His gaze caught onto the two runes on his cheeks, and he lifted a hand to touch the knowledge one, the thought of how long they would continue to be so brightly black briefly entering his mind. The other runes on his body had never faded over the years despite their almost constant disuse, but he had a strong inkling that these would be different. They were marks of the Brotherhood that he was no longer connected to and would fade just as the last connection he lost had.

                His hand dropped from his cheek to his neck, fingers pressing into the white outline across it and he shuddered at the emptiness, jerking away from the mirror and back to the door. Now was not the time to walk down that road.

                Jem pulled the door inward and stepped back out to join the other two men. Jace was still seated on the couch, hands between his knees with his arms resting on his thighs to hold his torso as he bent forward. His head was tilted towards Magnus, who was digging through his bookcase.

                “Can I help?” Jem asked as he came over to join them.

                Magnus twisted around, a book in each hand, and beamed at him. “You look very nice Jem. Comfortable I hope?”

                “I am, thank you. Is there something I can do to help? I have gotten very good at research.”

                “In a little while, I would love the help!” he replied while he magicked the books in his hand to the table in front of Jace before turning back towards the shelves. “For now, I’m merely gathering possible information. It seems borrowing magic from Asmodeus was not worth the open-ended, almost no holds barred favor I have to owe him in return. Whatever is happening to Jace is much more likely coming from his magic, than the possession itself.”

                “Could it be a combination? Both Lilith and Asmodeus are considered rulers of Edom, but their magics and abilities differ greatly.” Jem suggested, moving over to sit beside Jace, leaning forward to grab one of the books as he did so.

                “I was thinking that too! Though, whatever happened to you, that most definitely came from Asmodeus. So, I guess it _was_ worth it? I don’t know, though, whatever, not important right now!” Magnus strode to the other side of the table and dropped a huge leather-bound volume heavily onto its surface. “You’re cured, and that is likely thanks to the fire stuck in Jace. What’s important now, is that we have to find out how to get that fire out.”

                “It is a fire?” Jem asked, glancing over to the blonde who nodded.

                “Yeah, Brother Enoch was right. Magnus doesn’t know if he can do anything though.”

                “Your blood is being poisoned Jace.” Magnus’s voice was icy. “Poisoned, and like hell am I going to let it kill you. I will do everything in my power to find a way to stop it, but what I said still stands.”

                “Two weeks and then you’re telling Alec.” Jace recited dutifully. “And what will you tell him about Jem?”

                “He’s a visiting friend.” Magnus said with a wave of his hand. “Not a lie.”

                “And he wont mind me being here?” he asked, looking up from the book in his hands to meet Magnus’s eyes.

                “Of course not. If we could put up with Jace here, we can put up with you. You won’t be bringing any serial killing seelies into the house.”

                “Hey!”

                Jem blinked owlishly and turned his head to look in between them. “I am sure I don’t want to know. _You_ are sure though?”

                “Certain.” Magnus walked around the table to place a hand on Jem’s shoulder. “You can stay here for as long as you would like.”

                “Yeah, Alec is great he wont care.” Jace told him, before pushing himself to his feet. “He will, however, care if I am late for patrol. I’ll come back later?”

                “Yes, you will. You’re not getting out of helping us find a solution.”

                “Gotcha.” He nodded to them both, and then smiled at Jem. “I’m at least glad I helped you Jem. As soon as things calm down in your mind, you’ll have to go out and see the city. Learn more about the twenty-first century from actually being in it, instead of observing everything from very far away.”

                “I would like that, Jace, thank you.” He said as he stood as well and shook the other man’s hand. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you but am very grateful for you being able to help me. Like Magnus, I will do all I can to find you a cure as well.”

                “Yeah, me too, and thank you. Means a lot” With one more small smile he moved around the two of them and went out the front door.

                “Were you very hard on him?” Jem asked as his footsteps in the hall faded.

                “Not terribly.” Magnus remarked, dropping into the spot that Jace had just vacated. “I understand where he is coming from, but I believe he is making a mistake.”

                “Me too.” He agreed quietly, hand unconsciously coming up to brush the rune along his neck again.

                “That doesn’t surprise me.” Magnus’s voice was just as quiet and gentle. “James, perhaps you would feel better if Tessa were here?”

                He turned to him sharply at the suggestion, realizing just then that it was actually an option. Despite how much he loved her, and the burning desire to see her, he knew that right now it wasn’t a true option for him. “I don’t know Magnus. My mind doesn’t feel right, I don’t know if I can be around Tess right now.”

                “Jem, Tessa would want to be with you. She would be ecstatic to see you once again.”

                “I meet her every year.” He replied dismissively.

                “This is different.”

                “I know.” He said incredibly softly. “But I can’t see her and try to be happy yet Magnus.”

                “Why. You of all people deserve to.”

                Jem turned his head so that they were once more looking eye to eye. “I haven’t mourned him. I can’t move on until I reconcile my life moving on without me.”

                “It didn’t move on.” Magnus said, his tone an attempt to be reassuring.

                He shook his head. “No, it did. What Jace said was right. I have watched the last almost century and a half pass in isolation from it. My emotions suspended and all knowledge of what has occurred outside of the Silent City absent. I need to understand what it means to be Jem Carstairs again before I see Tessa. To do that, I need to decide where I stand in life without having him with me.”

                “I understand.” Magnus reached over and placed a hand on Jem’s forearm before snapping another book into his hand, which he traded out with the one that Jem held. “I want you to have this. It will help you connect to the years you have missed much more than it will help me to remember them.”

                “What is it?” Jem asked as he stroked the soft leather of the cover.

                “It’s a photo album.” Magnus answered, reaching over to peel the cover back, causing Jem’s breath to be caught in his throat at the image before him. “Since the moment the camera was invented, I have attempted to keep photographs of every mortal I become close to. He was one of the first.”

                Jem pushed the cover closed again and rested one long fingered hand over it. “I don’t know if I can look at this. I was never supposed to be the one to live without him.”

                “You look at it when you feel ready James. Don’t push yourself, but don’t put it off longer than needed.”

                “Thank you, Magnus.” He glanced over the table full of books before them, and then back up towards the room that was currently his. “Would you mind if I spent some time to myself?”

                “Of course, I wouldn’t mind.” The warlock’s hand rested on his shoulder for a brief moment. “Take all the time that you need.”

                He gave him a thankful smile and made his way back to the bedroom, album clutched tightly in his hands. Once there he sank onto the edge of the bed and stared at the cover for several long moments before slowly pulling it back to gaze at the photo behind it.

                Will and Tessa’s wedding. The longer he stared at the frozen image of the two people he loved more than life, the more the day came back to him. He could smell the flowers. He could hear the vows. He could clearly see how beautiful they both looked in the shimmering gold. The look of delight on Will’s face as he took his wedded union rune. He remembered how that look shifted to one of longing as his eyes had met Jem, or Brother Zachariah’s as he was then. And now that his emotions were free he felt that same longing creep up on him.

                Longing morphed to grief, and as soon as the first tear drop fell onto the paper beside the photo, he slammed the cover shut to protect the priceless image beneath. He pulled his knees to his chest, arms wrapping around them. Hugging the book of memories that he couldn’t bare to look at, Jem cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy everyone seems to be enjoying this! Thank you so much for reading, I would absolutely love to hear from you!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! As I said it the first note, it isn't going to follow the novels really, so even Jem's healing and transition into normal life will be different, though I hope realistic. I also hope you like it so far and would be super delighted to hear from you!


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